Yes,
I Am One Of "Santa's Helpers"!
June
20, 2011
Recently
a good friend noticed a man that looked very much like me on the news! I explained
that now you know another of Santa's helpers - Phil Campbell. Our job is to
report back to Santa if the boys and girls have been naughty or nice! We do
not discriminate no matter the age - so you are just among the bigger girls
and boys. During the year Santa's helpers do other things that would keep
us on Santa's good side because we like presents at Christmas as much or more
than most people! That is why Phil Campbell, from Satillo Mississippi, went
to Phil Campbell, AL to help out!
Important
Note: All of Santa's Helpers have short white beards since only Santa has
the long white beard which is primarily used to keep him warm when delivering
presents! Santa's Helpers are not allowed to have long white beards and now
you know why I keep my beard short!
Now
your will probably ask how many of us Santa's Helpers are there? That is a
great question and you might need help to calculate the answer! Santa leaves
the North Pole with his sleigh full of presents which he delivers to Barrow,
AK. Next he goes to Deadhorse, AK where he runs out of presents and Santa's
helper in Deadhorse has a new load of presents for the next town which is
Kaktovik, AK which is a very small town of about 300 and not many children
live there so it is on to Fort Yukon, AK and another of Santa's helpers is
there with a full load of presents for the next city of Fairbanks, AK which
is a large city which has two of Santa's Helpers living there.
So
it goes on through the night and twice along the way Santa changes to his
other two sets of Reindeer to let the others rest as he uses them again for
the return trip. Oh, I'd better tell you that Rudolph was a triplet and each
team of Reindeers has their own Rudolph! We call them Rudy I, Rudy II and
Rudy III and, they are all identical which is very rare as they all have red
noses! All of the Reindeer are very strong and quick as a wink!
But
I will save you the time in calculating the total number of Santa's helpers
as there are exactly 127,919 in service at present in the United States alone!
Santa had more but 131 were caught collecting unemployment and Santa had to
let them go because they had the best job in the world - helping Santa make
children & adults happy! Of course Santa had them shave their beards before
they left and they had to promise to never tell our secret or to grow a beard
again!
So,
actually now know that Santa doesn't multiply the gifts nor does he live forever!
Santa gets old and when he retires he chooses a replacement from one of his
Santa's helpers! I don't think it will happen but if you notice my beard getting
longer and whiter, and suddenly I'm gone, you know where I went and what I'll
be doing! Of course Bev will be with me because Santa would be lost without
Mrs. Claus!
The
current Santa Claus used to be called Rheinhold Federmann and is originally
from Austria! I met him in my mom's kitchen in Cleveland when I was 8 years
old and we shared chocolate chip cookies my mom had made and we each had a
glass of milk! I actually saw him in the sky the year before after I spotted
Rudolph's (Rudy I) red nose!
Another
thing - Santa's helpers are not allowed to practice the phrase "Ho -
Ho - Ho" as our beards, being short, prevent us from making it sound
right!
This
is all true but adults generally do not believe in Santa - so they generally
get presents from other adults or children instead of from Santa! By the way,
I was not recruited until my beard turned gray! I was in Belk's Southpark
(Charlotte, NC) walking through cosmetics on the way to the mall area when
I was approached by two Elves in normal clothes! (They were pretty short and
I spotted the pointy ears!) I told them that it sounded like great fun to
which they replied in unison "this is serious business"! I had no
idea how much time was going to be involved when I was accepted the job of
being a Santa's Helper but it is well worthwhile!
I
have been dying to tell someone but Santa said that we should keep it a secret
except from our wives! I asked him why a secret and he said that people would
not believe if I told them. I know you and I'm confident that you believe
- thanks!
Norm
Voelzow -
one of
"Santa's Helpers"
The
above Santa's Helpers story is © Copyright Norm
Voelzow - Wingate, North Carolina USA. Reference the Digital Millennium Copyright
Act Of 1998.
